Things to Look forward to.
I had a great childhood. My mom stayed home with my brother and I, at least till we went to school - and even then she only worked during school hours. Through the hazy veil that is time, when I look back I remember good feelings, good times… However, when I examine the past more closely I start to have a minor panicky feeling -
Will I be as good a mother as my mom?
Now, my mom was not perfect - we certainly had our differences and our all out battles. I know she made mistakes. I know she stuck me with a pin when changing a diaper in church and she didn’t catch me when I rolled off the changing table - but I only know those things because she felt so guilty she just had to tell me about them in that joking yet serious "Please forgive me for being a horrible person - I feel so guilty about this I must confess all!" sort of way. And in our fights I said some nasty things and she said some nasty things. And I’m sure we still have our fair share of fights.
But I remember… The paper that ALWAYS covered the coffee table and the crayons that were ALWAYS available and the exciting moments when a piece of paper that had been worn thin by my genius scribblings would be stripped away and a new blank piece of beauty would be taped down. I remember the big plastic box full of dresses - My mom’s old dresses - for dress up. I remember the costumes she would sew me - a Unicorn, a princess. I remember the window paint… and after covering the glass doors in the kitchen with a satisfying black, purple and orange smear resembling a pumpkin and a witch… watching her as she scraped it all away after halloween. I remember dye-ing eggs. I remember birthday parties. They paid for me to go to camp, and to take flute lessons and piano lessons. They bought me a dog "to help me through adolescence" [my reasoning].
I love kids and I intend to have a few, but I’m still a few years away from making the active decision to procreate. So, if God doesn’t decide to play a practical joke, I’m still a few years away from finding out the answer to the above question. But in the interest of striving to be the kind of mother that my future child will worry about topping - Here’s a list of things I will do. This list is not meant to have practicality written all over it - it is meant to be seen through the rose-colored glasses of a woman on the edge of contemplating a baby. I am distinctly blocking out any and all birth recovery time, the lack of sleep, the battles of will, the self-doubt, and the world-renowned guilt.
1) I will have a dress up box and henceforth I will save any and all sparkly clothes I own to put into it.
2) I will paint a mural on my child’s bedroom wall
3) I will make them play outside and I will join them - despite the icky bugs.
4) I will try not to pass on my fear and loathing of icky bugs
5) I will have extra cool bandaids available at all times (Princess? Pirate? Thomas the Train?)
6) I will try to make a significant number of toys rather than buy them.
7) I will make sure they can read music and play music
8) I will try to get them interested in a sport, but if they overly resist I will not force it.
9) I will not get angry when she cuts her own hair at age 3.
10) I will encourage her to paint my husband’s toenails
11) I will never be upset when he spends 90% of his allowance every week on books.
12) I will always let them do homework on the kitchen table if they want to.
13) I will let them wear whatever they want (except for extremely special occasions) so long as the proper body parts are covered.
14) I will resist the urge to set up posed photographs with my kids in matching outfits for Christmas Cards.
15) If I buy a puppy because of their pleading - I will blame no one but myself when I am outside, at 3:00 am, in the rain with a dog that won’t pee outdoors but will unleash it’s bladder of terror as soon as we step back into the warmth and comfort of the house.
16) I will bribe my child into potty training with dollar store items
17) I will make them halloween costumes rather than buy them
18) I will NOT make a habit of letting my children sleep with me.
19) I will sleep beside them on the floor whenever/if ever they are sick
20) I will pray everyday henceforth that they will NOT inherit my feet/tendons/ligaments/sciatica.
21) I will let them paint my windows for halloween.
22) I will make a tradition out of decorating for holidays.
23) I will decorate for holidays
24) I will not make them make their beds if they keep their rooms clean otherwise.
25) I will read to them. Alot. And I will savor their discovery of all the different literary escapes of my own childhood.
26) I will not freak out when they have imaginary friends.
27) I will not give them whatever they want whenever they want whatever they want. I will teach them patience at the cost of whining and screaming in present if need be.
28) I will not see my child as Infallible, but I will make sure they know I think they are perfect the way they are.
29) I will tell them I love them.
30) I will never turn down a hug
Smile and nod at my bright-eyed and bushy-tailed notions - correct them if you will. But don’t violently burst my bubble… okay?
